santa exists

This is a true story. Sadly I cannot recollect the year, but think it was around the mid 1980’s. The date is however known and the  events that follow took place on the evening of 24 December. I have recounted this story several times so thought it was about time I put pen to paper, so to speak.

My witness to back me up is my good friend Graham Johns. He recollects the night as vividly as I do.

Graham and I started fishing on Newquay headland around 8pm in the evening. We both enjoyed fishing then as we would always be on our own. We settled into a favoured spot, rigged up and chatted away like good friends do. On a fishing front, it was a busy night. We fished with 6 rods and the rod tips rattled away all night. Small whiting and coddling were to blame, sadly none of them were “keepers”.

If you have ever shore fished at night, you will know it can be a noisy place. The wind comes and goes, waves crash around the rocks so the background noise is always there. But not this night. It was eerily silent. No wind. There must have been a big high pressure zone above us as the sea was flat as a pancake. Consequently there were no waves, just a subtle lapping away to the rocks below us. It was also one of those clear nights. Once your eyes had adjusted to the darkness, a million stars were out on display.

As the evening wore on you could clearly hear revellers in Newquay singing away and generally making noise. I would estimate we were at least a mile away. If you have ever been out at night in the countryside, you will know just how far sound carries. It was just one of those rare quite nights on the shoreland.

The clock chimes of Newquay were crystal clear, so you just had the pay attention to know what the time was.

I should add that Newquay headland is pitch black as you are looking out to sea. The brightly lit town centre is pretty much straight behind you. So, as we were fishing, it was important to keep eyes peeled into the blackness. A mere glance at the town lights would ruin your darkness vision for a good 5 minutes or so.

So, the clock countdown was on and it started to chime its tune for midnight. Then the first dong rang out. Just at that very moment, way up in the sky out to sea, a bright light appeared. If you have ever seen a shooting star, it was just like that. But a lot brighter. Needless to say, you just automatically looked at it, mesmerised. It made a clear track towards Graham and myself, getting brighter all the time. The town centre clock continued to dong away the midnight countdown.

The bright light passed over our heads and arced straight into Newquay Town centre bang on the 12th chime. Graham and I just stood there watching in amazement. What a grand way for Santa to arrive on his sleigh.

With that, we packed up and made our way to our respective homes. We still grin and give one another a knowing wink at Christmas time. We have seen him. End of.

classroom socialism

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had

recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor

and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”. All grades will be averaged

and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for

dollars – something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and

the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had

studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. 

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and

no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that SOCIALISMwould also ultimately fail because when

the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or

want to succeed. 

It could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them,

and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work

for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

100%

If you like percentages and logical mathematics, this is for you.

What makes 100%? And what does it mean when someone says they give “more than 100%”? What makes up 100%? What does it mean if someone says they have given 103%? If these things puzzle you, I have the mathematical answer for you:

Let us look at the alphabet, and then attach a number to each letter. So, A = 1 and Z = 26. We can now analyse a few words that people use:

HARDWORK is represented by 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11. That totals 98%

KNOWLEDGE becomes 96%

ATTITUDE becomes 100%

Rather pleasingly, BULLSHIT becomes 103%

And even better, ASSKISSING becomes 118%

So, using mathematical certainty, you can conclude that hardwork and knowledge will get you close. attitude makes it. Meanwhile bullshit and asskicking will put you over the top. Now you know why some people are where they are!