Headcount

A farmer named Sid was overseeing his stock in a  remote moorland pasture in  North Yorkshire when suddenly a  brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of  dust.
        
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan  sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, “If I tell  you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a  calf?”  
                
Sid looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his  peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?” 
 
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,  connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the  Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his  location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in  an ultra-high-resolution photo.
         
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and  exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . 
           
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the  image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL  database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his  Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.     
 
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his  hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, “You  have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”         
                  
“That’s right. Well, I  guess you can take one of my calves,” says Sid. 
         
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on  with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car. 
               
Then Sid says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly  what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”          
      
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay,  why not?”
      
“You’re a Management Consultant”, says Sid. 
        
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess  that?”
  
“No guessing required.”  answered the farmer. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you  want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.  You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much  smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people  make a living – or about cows, for that matter.  This is a herd of sheep.  …

          
Now give me back my dog!

Dementia Quiz

Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a Bonus question  to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.  
To assure the accuracy of the results, you   should not take your time ,

but instead, answer each of them immediately .
 
OK?  
 

Let’s find out just how clever you really are….

Ready? GO! (scroll down slowly to uncover Qs and As )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person.

What position are you in?

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Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG!

If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question,

but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

 

 

Second Question :
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
(scroll down)

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Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are  ; ; ; ;

WRONG again.

Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :
Very tricky arithmetic! Note:

This must be done in your head only..

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator
Try it..

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
 
 
 
 

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100  

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!
 Today is definitely not your day, is it ?  
 
Maybe you’ll get the last question right… Maybe…  

Fourth Question :

Mary’s father has five daughters:

1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,   4.. Nono, and ???  

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

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Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t.
Her name is Mary – read the question again!

 

 

 

 

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to
redeem yourself:

 

 

 

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses;

how does HE indicate what he wants?

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It’s really very simple  
He opens his mouth and ask for it…
Does your employer actually pay you to think?
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

PASS THIS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.