Never trust a cricketer

To all you cricket fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                      NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER
            Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
                Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
            Randier than a sailor who’s been six months at sea,
           Never let a cricketer’s hand an inch above your knee
 
       First let’s take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!
          My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
 
        Then there’s the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
          He’s really most persistent and can keep it up all day!
 
        And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
    If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!
 
       Then there’s the wily ‘slowy’, pure cunning is his strength;
     He’ll tempt you, then he’ll trap you with his very subtle length.
 
            So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
                Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
        And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!
         He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
 
         The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
        When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..
 
          And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
           When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
 
    Then there’s the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he’s about;
          And if you let him settle in, it’s hard to get him out!
 
         We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
     He doesn’t mind if he’s last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
 
          So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
                Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
      And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he’s full of flair and dash;
        And if you raise your heel, he’ll whip them off in a flash.
 
  If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
        Or he’ll have you in positions that you never knew before!
 
             The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
       He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
 
           Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
      You’ll quickly find you’ve had it, when he puts his finger up!
 
           So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:
            !!!!NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!