A month in my life – January 10

The random happenings in my life during January 2010.  The names of the guilty have been changed. But they should know who they are. I might even be subject to some retribution…….

The month started quietly as all of the country was covered in snow. The kids out my way were pretty useless. No one threw a snowball at me. My car alarm did not go off as they didn’t clear the snow of it. And to make matters even worse, a distinct lack of snowman. Poor, poor effort in my book.

We only had one day when the sun as out all day when we were still snow covered. I duly togged myself up and ventured out with the camera. I did a 2 hour walk in the morning and met…..just two people, even though the schools were still closed. Guess everyone likes the warmth of their house too much.

Snow covered Severn Estuary. Aust Bridge is in the background - that's the orginal bridge.

And the final tale of the cold weather goes to Cornwall. It was cold enough for pensioners to be awarded the extra Cold Weather payment. So even the warmest part of the country was cold. Believe it was the coldest in Cornwall since the 62/63 winter. And to think I took a picture of a daffodil on Christmas Day 2009!

Its early days, but word on the street is that Burger Boy has a girlfriend. But please don’t tell anyone as it’s a secret!

Regular readers will not be surprised that I have another South Glos Council moan. You received good press about having ample salt/grit supplies towards the end of the cold, snowy spell. Neighbouring Councils almost ran out. But when it thawed the state of the roads became truly awful. Yes, you had loads of salt/grit left as you didn’t put that much on the roads. Now get on with the road repair problem asap – please. Pretty please!

Now here’s a good one for the grey matter. A posh jewellers gets its front window smashed in by very amateur thief’s – who get caught quickly I add. Police disclose that the window items were all fakes. This was because it is a requirement of the insurance company. Makes sense to me…….but what if you walk into the shop and specifically ask to buy an item in the window? Are you sold a fake at full price? Mmmmm. Interesting!

My latest training gadget is a Wobble Board. A round piece of wood and a domed bit is underneath, centred in the middle. This puts the board about 4cm’s off the floor.  All you have to do is stand on it without holding onto anything. Simple. Er, no. Can just about manage 10 seconds. And what an unbelievable leg, knee and ankle exercise it is. Apart from extra leg strength, I’m hoping it makes my balance better. This should help my very low speed manoeuvring on the mountain bike. Will let you know how I get on.

I am fortunate enough to drive a BMW and it was time to get two new rear tyres fitted. If you have a Beamer, you will know that the tyres wear out in the centre, no matter what pressure they are run at. So instead of Michelins, I now have Dunlops fitted. They have a different tread pattern for the middle of the tyre and I hope this leads to better mileage.

Michelin on middle wear indicators, but loads of outside tread. Typical BMW wear.

New Dunlop. Note the different centre tread pattern compared to the Michelin.

Now you all need to pay attention here. For the umpteenth time, don’t go to an AGM. Ever, ever, ever. Got that? For reasons probably involving insanity I went to Gloucester Cricket Clubs AGM. Three hours of my life that I will never get back almost wasted. I say “almost” as at least it wound me up. And I walk out mystified and annoyed at the level of ineptitude at the club. So I cheered myself up and bought Somerset Membership.

It was rather nice of the man from Cambodia to offer me a place to stay for a holiday. My “to do” list gets even longer.

My cycling update is non existent! Weathers too cold. But I did take the bike to bits and give it a full service, so already to go when the weather picks up. Will you let me off?

And finally for this part, my advice is to go out and make someone smile. After all, it’s a free service.

General Randomness

I’ve managed to do a bit of writing this month and did a couple of articles (apart from the jokes):

UK’s Energy Supplies https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/uks-energy-supplies/

Weather Cycle https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2010/01/09/weather-cycle/

Sports News

It all starts on New Years Day. The big local derby saw Mangotsfield visit Yate and my 5 year record of watching Yate win this one…..continues. Dear me. A 4 – 2 loss. Dare I suggest that no less than 5 Mangotsfield players had too much “pop” the night before?

The world of darts crowns its World Champion early in the month. And for the 15th time, it was Phil “The Power” Taylor. 15th time? Nuff said. He is a legend. He won £200k, with the runner up getting £100k. Not bad for a pub game!

As for Bristol City, yes, I went to that game. Not often you see the home side get hammered 6 – 0!

And now onto cricket. England have been playing test matches in South Africa. Performances have been patchy as well. England do not have a Test batsman listed in the world’s top 16. Problem there then. Also the much lorded Kevin Pietersen only produces a good innings in every 20 odd. So why is he in the test team then? The problem with test cricket is that the England players cannot adapt from the one-day format. It’s as simple as that.

Football Clubs and Tax Debts

As any one in business knows, when cash becomes a bit scarce, the first people you don’t pay is HMRC. We all know it can take them several weeks, if not months to catch up with you. And let’s face it; PAYE, NI and VAT are usually pretty large bills.

The people you keep paying are wages and utilities. After all, you don’t want to get cut off now do you? And with the change in Business Rates, landlords are more than ready to do a deal now as well. They now have to pay Business Rates even if the property is empty, in case you didn’t know.

And so onto football clubs. There are about 50,000 football clubs in the UK. No more than 6 make a profit. Why do they make a loss? Well that’s darn obvious. Players’ wages. Wages mean tax and NI liabilities become due. Debts quickly mount up.

Now if you stood in the shoes of HMRC, you would want to do everything you can to keep a business going. You will be firm, and as threatening as possible. But that’s because you want your money before the next person in the line. And by keeping the business going, cashflow is maintained – and you want a slice of that please to repay the tax debt.

HMRC, when pushed, will make a business insolvent. Have no doubts about that. I’m pretty sure you may well know someone, or have heard of someone being put out of business by HMRC. But name a football club that HMRC has closed down. Struggling now aren’t you? Well, I am to. They get close with their threats, but there is usually an 11^th hour solution.

And that’s the point. Everyone knows this and plays the game to the absolute limit. Why HMRC do not make an example of a club baffles me. Surely it would put fear into the other clubs? And then surely HMRC definitely gets its debt paid. You only need to make one or two examples every 10 years or so. That’s all that is needed. And none of this “Phoenix from the ashes” stuff either. Properly put the club down and disbar its Directors. Stake through the heart stuff.

Of course HMRC already do this. They occasionally put the odd celebrity into jail. They get massive media coverage and it works wonders for the overall debt owed to them. So they know how to do it. But yet they choose to ignore football clubs.

Having spent a few years running the finances of a small non league club, I came across a couple of “odd” stories.

Firstly, my dear friends The FA. I suggested to a compliance officer that The FA should let about 8,000 clubs go bust. This would mean:

• The referee shortage would be solved
• Players wages would reduce – supply and demand kicks in
• Remaining clubs would be more commercially aware

But no. The FA is there to protect clubs. They have specialists that help in negotiating settlements with HMRC. They do not want clubs to go bust. On asking why, the guy look puzzled and was unable to answer.

Secondly a Director of the Southern League proudly told me that they had helped a club out and after lots of negotiation, reduced the £250k HMRC debt down to £30k. As a result, the club had survived. Quick as a flash I pointed out that he had now disadvantaged all the other Southern League clubs. Were the other affiliated clubs having an equal percentage of debt written off so they were all on a level playing field? No? Well, why is one club being treated differently to the others then? The chap was lost for words. He regained his composure and invited me to become a Southern League Director. I declined.

So until football stops acting as a recession proof closed shop, I will remain a fan. And that’s my limit!

And a nice current update on League Clubs was in the Financial Times on 29 January 2010 http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/7547cf70-0d10-11df-a2dc-00144feabdc0.html

Link to m other football blog: https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/non-league-footy-finances/