Posted tagged ‘snooker’

A Month in My Life – May 10

01/06/2010

The random happenings in my life during May 2010.  The names of the guilty have been changed. But they should know who they are. I might even be subject to some retribution…….

The General Election duly happened and no less than two parties won. How long will the ConDem Pact last. Well, my 10p is way less than the 5 years they are hoping for! Whilst I was bombarded with leaflets through the door, no one formally popped round to canvass me. What a shame: I was really up for a full blown row!

I used my time wisely on General Election Day. I emailed South Glos Council with a complaint over the state of the roads near me. Then I told my Parish Counsellor who only lives 100 yards away from me. I think this is conclusive proof that I have officially become a Grumpy Old Man. Yes, I’m proud of it as well.

So, what happened following my complaint? Well, not a lot. South Glos have never got back to me and my local Counsellor is a little slow at replying as well. To follow the story and see the emails, click on this link: https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/patchway-potholes/

If your car has been damaged by potholes, visit this site: www.potholes.co.uk

As for the ConDem pact I have a thought provoking point. Whatever your politics, you have to admit that David Cameron is a very bright chap. So if the pact works, he takes the credit. But what if it fails? Well, surely that will suddenly become Nick Clegg’s fault? So he can neatly sidestep any failure. After all, that’s what great politicians do. Don’t they? So in other words, whatever happens, David Cameron gets re-elected next time round. Mmmmmm, we will find out later if I’m talking out of my…….

For a reason that baffles me, Burger Boy decided to go up in a small plane and jump out. I paid him to do it mind. A week before he was totally bricking it….. And afterwards? Well he wants to do it all over again that’s what he wants to do for his 18th! He obviously enjoyed that particular moment “wooooooaaa, what a rush”.   He raised £515 for Wings of Hope. If you click on this link, a PDF file should open with more info Burger Boys Skydive

I do not watch Question Time too often, but there are still debates over the Iraq war. For goodness sake, we will find out the true answers in 100 years time. We will all be dead. So let’s move on. What has happened cannot be changed. And for what it’s worth, my best bet is that there were genuine reasons why the Government believed so strongly on them having WMD. We soddin well sold them to Iraq in the first place! The issue was we did not know how many they had left over after using them on the Kurds and the Iranian Marshland people.

Have you ever played the supermarket game? What you do is pack your bags, get to the car and drive off, before the person at the check-out queue in front of you does. I’ve done it loads of times. It’s great fun and the expression on some people’s faces is priceless! Go on, give it a whirl……..and email me with your own supermarket stories!

Finally we had a few days of solid blue skies. Very nice to. And at long last I got the full benefit of my Power Monkey Solar Charger. Ooodles of free power for my gadgets.

I went to a local fundraiser and stumbled on jars of local honey. Needless to say, I indulged and is well, worth the price. At least I now have contact details for the future. Local honey should help reduce any hayfever systems, so we will see. But in the meantime it is delightful stuff to put on freshly baked bread. YUM.

The month ended with my one and only niece turning 17. Bloomin ‘eck, where did that time go? I vividly remember seeing her when she was just a few hours old. As it was a very difficult birth, her head was egg shaped with massive bruising. Thankfully no long term damage was done.

Whilst thinking of family stuff, I know what my Old Man was doing 70 years ago. He was at Dunkirk digging graves on the beach. That, my friends, is the reality of war. Because of his duties he was on the 2nd to last boat out. And to prove it’s a small world, I know the son of the Dunkirk Beachmaster – so he was last man off the beach. Remember. War is just mans inhumanity to man. Nothing else. 24 million people lost their lives on WWII. Remember that with a tear in your eye. 

I have cable TV and I am thoroughly indebted to Virgin Media for consistently re-booting at 11pm. Right at the important points in movies etc. It’s a good job I’m a relaxed laid back cool dude (!) otherwise I would be going purple with rage and having a right ‘ol rant……..and it only happened 6 times on the trot!

On the camera front, I treated myself to a new Macro Lens. That’s a specialist lens that takes close up pictures. Had a good play with it and experimenting like crazy. He’s a sample (pornographic) shot:

Mating time

Mr Ranter finally found his way back to Bristol on a Thursday night and we went out for a Friday bike ride. I had not been out for almost 2 months, so a bit of trepidation on my part. But I survived and managed 21 miles. I could not feel my legs after about the 16th mile. So on that basis, it did me good. Mr Ranter took it all in his stride as he’s out as often as he can as he is planning to ride up Mt Ventoux this year. It’s a famous mountain climb that the Tour de France use most years.

On the last weekend of the month, I finally “ticked another box” and went to New Road, Worcester to watch Glos v Worcs. If you don’t know, New Road always makes the Top 10 prettiest cricket grounds in the world. Well, it’s certainly the prettiest I have ever been to. It was a nice weather day, great food and fabulous company throughout. And it was great to hear so many people talking with a brummie accent. Lovely. But I have a rather unexpected highlight for you. I was taken aback with the sign “chip butty £2.85”. In fact I was mesmerised. Don’t think I have ever seen a sign for a chip butty! That brought back memories. Chip Butty = food of the gods. Is your mouth watering right now?

New Road is also famous for its home made cakes, and I was not disappointed. Lydney Bob only had 5. Nowhere near his all time record of 7.

Would you believe the month ends with me taking charge of two hamsters whilst PALS go on holiday? Hope the little rascals behave themselves in front of the camera.

General Randomness

No new articles written this month. and only a few jokes as well. Must have been working lots then!

Sports News

The month started with the crowning of a new snooker World Champion. Well done to Neil Robertson. He’s an Australian by the way. And rather good looking as well. Am I allowed to say that?????

On the football front, the Premier League champions were Chelski. They also won The FA  Cup. The teams to get relegated were Portsmouth, Burnley and Hull. Yea, gads, I predicted these three last September. Wish I had the courage of my convictions and popped down to the bookies! Oh well, never mind.

And then, in the middle of the month something quite remarkable happened. England were crowned Twenty20 cricket World Champions. That’s the first time the cricketers have ever been World Champs. And they beat the Aussies in the final as well. Nice. Very nice. To paraphrase a rather famous piece of commentary “Kylie, Jason, Dame Edna, Rolf Harris, Don Bradman. Your boys took a hell of a beating!”

In the world of Rugby, Exeter Chiefs won promotion to the Premiership. They beat Bristol in both of the 2-game finals. Exeter were definitely the best team, Bristol making lots of errors.

I will leave you with a picture of a spin bowler in a rather awkward position. I took at at my trip to New Road. Till next month 😉

The awkward shape of a spin bowler

A Month in My Life – April 10

01/05/2010

The random happenings in my life during April 2010. The names of the guilty have been changed. But they should know who they are. I might even be subject to some retribution…….

The election was duly announced and so there was a massive pile of paper thru my letterbox. At least I found out that I was in a brand new constituency! And did you spot there was an obvious omission in all the manifesto’s? Well, here it is: “if elected and we fail to implement 75% of the manifesto, then we admit we are liars and useless in our jobs. Therefore we will not be standing again”. So in other words……..use your vote with care.

Burger Boy’s buckle belt looks like this:

Burger Boys Belt Buckle

You will have spotted that a certain volcano caused a lot of havoc. Masses of media attention and I do not know anyone who was caught up in it. No different from the Swine Flu then – I still don’t know anyone who caught it……. But I did enjoy all the jokes.

Now here is a classic tale about red tape. There is a Housing Charity that has done brilliant work for many years. In the last 3 years they have doubled in size and helped out countless people. Given their increased size, they decide to use the Law Society to review their work. Quality of work was given the thumbs up, but they now have tripled the amount of paperwork they used to do. As they do not have the funds for extra staffing, they have had to reduce the number of people they see. This means less help for people in the community. Less help due to extra paperwork. Quality of work unchanged. Sounds daft to me.

And one of the things the Charity is famous for?…….suing local Councils for making people homeless as they have not understood or applied the law properly. Mmmm, I’m going purple with rage again……

I spent a few days down in Cornwall and The Boss ran me ragged. Friends were also down that way and so we all hooked up. A very busy and thoroughly enjoyable few days were had. If you are ever in Truro, make sure you visit the Kathmandu for they do the finest curries you will ever come across. And if you are in the Gorran Haven area, pop into Treveague Farm and you will see nature in action:

New born lamb at Treveague Farm

Mr Ranter discovered that I have been blogging about him. Now you might just be a tad puzzled as to why he had no idea. Well, he’s not on Twatter and thinks Facewink is a pointless collection of non-friends. But he has only just discovered the delights of a smartphone, so there is a chink of light in the tunnel. Anyway, he wishes to point out he does NOT rant. He is the voice of reason. Yea, right!

I have just realised I have not had a rant over South Glos Council for a while. I mentioned all the potholes left after the winter snow a while back. Well, the really bad ones were fixed pretty quickly. The smaller ones were circled in yellow paint about 2 months back. There were so many circles, I described it as “the yellow brick road”. And I can now report that the paint is fading – fast. Any bets on which month the repairs will actually happen?

Went out for a long bike ride on a very gusty day, so it was hard work. OK, it damn near killed me! But finally, I experienced a tailwind that led me to accelerate rather nicely….uphill. First time I have had that one happen, and rare events are always nice! And I’m pleased to say that my perseverance with the wobble board has paid off. My bike handling is greatly improved.

General Randomness

Looks like I am about to embark on a spot of family tree research. Given my weird family, it is bound to be hysterically funny!

Probably the best thing I discovered this month was Dropbox. An online site where you can store up to 2GB for free. Never loose a file again. I like that. And it automatically updates changed files as well. Super, super stuff. My simple  guide is here: https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/dropbox/

Sports News

Firstly, big congratulations to that “little” team called Fulham. They have made it all the way to the Europa League Final. An amazing fairytale that started way back last July.

I was treated to some lovely hospitality for the Bristol City v Notts Forest game. The quality of the food was matched by the quality of the football: excellent (for once!). Interestingly, Burger Boy had a good go at eating a proper meal, but his eyes really lit up after the game – large pile of pizza. There’s no hope for the lad.

Mangotsfield’s Easter Monday derby with Yate saw them win. Unsoddinbelievable!! I have waited 5 years for this victory and it comes on a cool windy day. Lets hope this is the start of a decent run in the local derbies. Please. Pretty please ;). The season officially ended with the club in a comfortable 9th position. Hope they can build on this for next season.

And then the cricket season started with woeful performances by Gloucestershire. The whole team is just not performing and the body language is truly awful. Something is wrong. Seriously wrong. So why do I go? Well, I’m sat in the sun, nattering to all and sundry. So in other words it’s a massive social. Nowt to do with quality of cricket……But then on the last day of the month they pull off an away win at Lords. Onwards and upwards? We shall see.

The warmer weather sees the start of the Motorbike racing season. I have not been to the opening British Superbikes meets, but have been watching the TV coverage. Some very close racing going on in the support races.

And MotoGP also began. The first race was just littered with unexpected events – very, very enjoyable. In case you have not guessed, 2 wheels rule by the way 😉

The best sporting moment of the year so far is an utterly astonishing win in the World Snooker championship. Steve “interesting” Davis knocks out the World No 1 and reigning world champ. Steve is 52 years old. There’s life in the old dog then. Commentators described it as the best ever victory whilst the tournament has been at The Crucible. Needless to say he got utterly thrashed in the next match!

A month in My Life – November 09

01/12/2009

The random happenings in my life during November 2009. The names of the guilty have been changed. But they should know who they are. I might even be subject to some retribution…….

Well what can I say? My birthday passed by. It was a four day celebration of sport, food and general enjoyment. Thanks to everyone, especially the PALS tribe. What would I do without you? Um, er, pass!

A young me...........just where did it all go wrong????

And now time for a moan. Yes, another one. Christmas stuff in the shops before Halloween. I can just about live with that, but don’t like it. But it got worse. Yes, really. I read that there were Christmas jingles on the radio on 15 November. In Peru mind. Just WTF? I will be having words with Paddington Bear next time I’m at the station. I’m sure he had an influence on the matter.

Council Tax wise, I am in the remit of South Gloucestershire. These guys have no idea that there is a recession on. Perfectly functioning street lights have been taken down and replaced by new “light pollution” energy efficient ones. So I can see the night sky better. Oh crap, I’ve paid for that. Why replace perfectly good working ones en mass? Apart from buying them, there is the workman’s wages for the installation. Lordy me. I’m going purple with rage. Grrrrr

And now onto South Glos – part 2. Local side road is closed and diversion in place. I duly wander around to see what’s happening and find a solitary workman. The road is being re-surfaced. But they are digging down about 18″. Is this a bodge job? And it’s a road I regularly cycle down and I didn’t think it was too bad. As for the awful bit of road on the main drag….well, yes you have correctly guessed it is untouched.

As you may well know, I’m a useless salesman. Couldn’t even sell a box of matches for a gas hob. But I do know a good thing when I see it and I have no reservations in plugging something. Being brought up in Cornwall taught me about rural life. And as I get older, I come across people who have had heart attacks. So when I came across AED Locator, I just had to find out more.. They provide public access defibrillators in cabinets. They are available to everyone and are required when a cardiac arrest is suspected. Saving lives HAS to be good! www.aedlocator.org

Young Whits commenced her paramedic training with a couple of night shifts. I’m pleased to report she thoroughly enjoyed it. She had the baptism of fire with a fatality on her first “shout”. Top marks m’gal.

Here in Bristol it continues to be warm, albeit very wet and windy. My rule is to wear shorts for as longer time as possible. So I’m still wearing them. Luverly jubbly.

I realised that I continue to suffer from the disease of oddness. Just why is it that I do my grocery shopping, stuff the fridge full of goodies – and then get a take-a-way. Just what is that all about?

This month’s overseas news comes from The Engineer. He moved to Thailand recently and is still sorting his house out. Thai builders really do multi-task to levels of astonishment. They do a motorbike taxi service in the evenings. And then drive busses at the weekend. And they might even run a weekend market trader stall as well. And they might even do all this whilst getting drunk on the local brew. Can your builder do all this?

I’ve had many long and enjoyable phone calls this month with Man from Lydney. We put the world to rights big time. Put us together and the world ducks in terror. Fantastic stuff.

I was moved enough to sign my very first e-petition. So I was obviously a bit riled then! The UK Government wants to cut off internet access to those who illegally download copyrighted files. No bad thing BUT the flaw is if someone hacks your connection – you get cut off. Not fair. Surely the law should be used to protect the innocent? http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/dontdisconnectus

Are you sat comfortably? Good. I have a major revelation. My back garden is sorted. Yes, I’m as shocked as you are. Bulbs, primroses, lily’s the whole works. Even a dedicated herb section. Marvellous! So what brought that on then I hear you cry. Ok, Ok, the fabulous AA took control and did it. Me garden? Pha, tish and tosh.

The month ended with the closure of Masters Snooker Club. The Tiler and I have played there for many years. Mike ran the club for 25 years. The lease expired and as he was 65, retirement called. We believe the landlord will develop the premises, but what into? It’s a prime location but surely too noisy for re-development into flats?

Burger boy joined in for the final snooker session. For reasons that left me baffled, he spent an inordinate amount of time fiddling with his belt and trousers. And not a girl in sight either. Should I be worried?

And the late breaking news is that the L of PALS lost her first tooth. Apart from the usual money under the pillow, the Tooth Fairy left a letter. L insists the writing looks familiar, but cannot remember whose it is. A classic example of being (almost) too smart for your own good!

Having not had a serious bike ride for ages, I picked a hard one to start with. Only 12 miles, but very “lumpy”. Best guess is that only 2 mile on the flat with a couple of tough hills to climb. To give you an idea of steepness, I hit 30 mph on the two big downhills. I managed the trip effortlessly. Just how did I do that? Genuinely surprised at how I kept my fitness level up. And then it rained none stop. Sometimes there was a gale to go with it as well. Confined to quarters.

A different question to end on this month. Lots of people seem to have forgotten the word “no”. I’ve said “no” loads of times this year and it hasn’t done me any harm. Go on, give it a whirl…….

General Randomness

I’ve found time to do a bit of writing this month and the articles are:

Overkill https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/overkill/

Simple Photography Tips https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/simple-photography-tips/

Football Clubs and Tax Debts https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/football-clubs-and-tax-debts/

IR35 Revenge Time https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/ir35-revenge-time/

Technology https://smarty09.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/technology/

Sports News

Not much sport watched this month. On the football side, there was a break for the International games. And then the league fixtures were not kind. Clashes everywhere. Oh well, stuff happens.

And the quality of the Rugby was pretty bad. Oh dear England, just what is going on?

Well, as far as I am concerned, there was just one important football story. Thierry Henry, the French football captain deliberately handled the ball and a goal was scored. That meant the French qualified for next summers World Cup. Officials did not see the incident, but cameras did. After a huge public outcry Henry apologised for his lack of sportsmanship. You cheat! The world will view you differently now sunny jim.

Gosh, have just read that motorbike racing is to go “green”. There are to be four electric motorbike races in 2010. FIM said “as the governing body of motorcycle sport, we must take into account current environmental problems”. Yes well done. You are being seen to do good. Did you mention the MotoGP circus takes up 2.5 jumbo jets of room per race? No!?????

 


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